“Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.” Psalm 37:3-5
Each year most Americans spend 13 hours waiting on hold for customer service, 38 hours in traffic and 37 billion hours in line. Waiting is never easy. It always tests our patience and perseverance. We wait for people, food, answers to questions and we even wait for true love.
True love is different for the Believer than the non-believer. We are looking for certain qualities. The non-believer might want someone who appeals to their physical likes and is funny or has a secure job or brings home a good paycheck. Not that those things are bad in themselves, but the Believer should be looking for things that last. Things like good character and a strong family resemblance to Jesus. Looks and money and security are secondary to the strong family resemblance of Jesus.
When I met my husband I had just come out of a five-year relationship with a guy who had a resemblance of Jesus, but it wasn’t very strong. Then, I didn’t really know what I was looking for. But God had given me His Word and in that I got to know who Jesus was and what His character looked like. So, when I met my husband I saw exactly what I was looking for—a man who looked like Jesus. Of course he didn’t physically look like Jesus but he acted like what I read about Jesus. He knew the Word and shared it with me every day. He prayed with me and pointed me to Jesus, he sharpened me and treated me like a princess.
We as women were created to be the companion of man, to help him and to bring forth a family with him. God told Adam in the garden: “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper who is just right for him” (Gen. 2:18). It’s clear that we women were created for a special job. God created us to be “just right” for a man. Likewise, there is a man out there that is “just right” for you. However, the question is, “Are you willing to wait for the right one? The one God has especially picked and is preparing even now just for you.
Many women who are single and over 25 begin to grow weary in the wait. They begin to lose focus and instead of keeping their focus on the Lord they begin to focus on getting married and finding a man. They begin looking for a man instead of waiting for God to bring him. They test the waters, date around and if they aren’t careful they may even believe the lie that “nothing better will come around.”
I have heard countless single women tell me there are no godly guys out there! My first question is always, Where are you looking? My second question is, Why are you looking anyway? If you are single you should concentrate on being Mrs. Right, not finding Mr. Right! When our focus is on the Lord and on His work in our own lives we gain a heavenly perspective only those focused on the Lord will have. On the other hand, if our focus is on finding Mr. Right we will be so consumed by this on a daily basis that we will miss what God is trying to do in our own lives.
If we look closely at the scripture in Genesis 2:18 we see God telling Adam that He was making a helper for man. Now many of us sort of smirk at this scripture, not wanting to see it as it is. But the truth remains that we women were created to help our husbands. That is our sole purpose for being created, along with bearing children. Some women don’t like this and my answer is always the same, “I didn’t say it, God did, so you have to take it up with Him.” Personally, I have found great liberty in fulfilling my God given role as a woman, wife and mom. No one can do what I can do for my family. I have job security! We should be ecstatic about this instead of letting it infuriate us.
God has designed woman especially for man. We are not inferior; we just have different roles in the home, in church and in society. For me to argue with that is saying I am not content who God created me to be. I will admit that at one time in my life I did question my calling. I felt that it was too much work and certainly God wouldn’t have created me to do all this work! But, guess what? He did! He created us to be amazing multitaskers, to be able to feed a baby and vacuum at the same time. We have the capability to do laundry while talking on the phone and helping with homework. We can drive the carpool while drinking coffee and finishing our makeup! You get the idea. We are created for a very special task and yet we have to wait for it to come to pass in our lives.
We never want to be hasty in our decision of who we marry. Next to receiving Jesus as your Savior, marrying the right man is the most important decision of your life. You don’t want to jump the gun and marry outside of God’s perfect will for your life. You want to wait and let the Lord make you the woman you need to be before you meet Mr. Right. You want to be mature in the Lord and ready for His high calling of being a wife.
I tell young women all the time, “God will not bring you your husband until the two of you together are a stronger team than you are apart!” If you have a strong devotional life and your husband doesn’t then you are not going to be a very strong team. Ladies, you must look for a man that is further along in his walk than you are. He must lead you spiritually from the start because it’s not going to change after you get married no matter how much you try and convince yourself. You must keep your standards high because you are looking for a man who looks like JESUS and He was perfect! Will your husband be perfect? Of course not! But he will be a perfect complement to you and the two of you together will be a powerful team for Jesus.
So, ladies, please don’t grow weary in the wait. Get busy about your Father’s business, serve the Lord with your whole heart and He will bring your man when you are good and ready! Remember Psalm 37:3-5. IF you are trusting in the Lord, dwelling in the land, feeding in the Word, delighting in Him, praying to Him and trusting in Him, then He promises that HE WILL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART and HE WILL BRING IT TO PASS. Don’t give up, girls, hang in there, get your standards high; focus on becoming the right person instead of finding one and you’ll be blessed with Mr. Right.
-Michelle Randall